Day 2, not feeling it yet!

Ok, so the new house, not in the location that I thought- yet not a scam either.  Miscommunication ( I still hope) with the landlord.  Very very nice people.  It will be nice to be able to help them support their dreams, but more of that later, after the lease is signed, trying to gather all the money together now. ( Man it is so expensive to move!- yet this move will save us $450 a month.  So a blessing in disguise for sure!)

It was hard to get packing today.  Of course we got some things done, it just felt like moving through mud.  I am so sad, and not even sure why.  I guess because , even though my kids are amazing and supportive, I wish they didn't have to be.  Like just leaning on someone's shoulder would be nice, for once.  I wonder if I even know how to really do that anyway. ( too many years of the fight I guess!)

I am down to nothing, literally in my gas tank, then I got a promotional $50 gift card from Constant Contact in the mail.  Way amazing timing.  I have been crying for about an hour about that.  Now I can get to work, kids to school, and all my other duties this week.  You know, it makes me mad that Kate Gosselin "represents" single parents in the media.  I represent single parents.  ( not that she shouldn't earn money, but my kids have never been to Disney, nor do we have $17K to spend on hair extensions!- hugely different!) It is me, with the "how am I going to get through this all by myself and no money" that is the true cross section of our culture.  I would like to see her try it!  If she thought Sarah Palin in Alaska was tough, live my life for a few days! HA!

Tomorrow, I start my new parttime job which I am kinda excited about.  I get to use my skills to help a friend's business build.  I won't get to go to morning networking functions, but I will get to make a difference.  ( which is what fuels me!)  Then onto a new social media gig- exciting.  This one has the potential to be HUGE and satisfying- once again I have a personal connection there and it feels like family.

Maybe the problem is everything is changing at once.  Some things aren't my story to tell here, though they do impact my life significantly.  This fall I will be starting school at Tacoma Community College to be a Chemical Dependency Counselor.  I think it will be a wonderful field, and will strengthen me with Conchetta House.  I am hoping that the new social media gig, and the other things I do will bring in enough for us to be able to breathe.  ( long over the win the lottery thing!)

I just want to make a difference and be able to breathe.  Onto tomorrow!

ReBuilding My Life, from the Ground Up!

So this is a beginning, a new beginning. New place, new focus on rebuilding.  I am putting my thoughts and experiences down to share with those I love, and love to do business with.  And maybe a little for myself, to chart a journey almost 49 years in the making.

First I am a single mom of 6, 4 are still at home.  Gosh, I never considered myself a "kid friendly" person, yet some days I would be happy to only hang out with my kids.  Who knew?  In our house, we are all such individuals and "space freaks" that it is always amazing to me that we get along so well. Yet my children are my joy, even the "old " kids.  ( Up and out of the house as they are.....they will always be my babies).
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This blog isn't about business, though that conversation will be within this.  This is about me, my journey.

So as I am writing this, the landlords of the house that I have lived in for three years have given us to the end of the month because they want to sell.  Makes me mad!  If they had done a lease option to buy, we would have already paid them $45K.  ( and through some of the toughest years of our financial lives!) Now there is a hurry to sell, and the boys and I are left with few options of where to go.  We could live with my Mom, who truly has little room for a family as large as ours.  I answered a few ads on Craigslist, and actually found a scam. ( total bummer, was in my price range....and the people who own the house currently were surprised to find out that their house was being rented....scam!)  So we are now facing homelessness ourselves.  Not due to anything except bad luck.

Yet I feel like everything will be ok.  I don't know how, or why, I just believe that Conchetta House is suppose to grow ( non profit -subsidized housing for single parent families in school that I started...how ironic is this?)  I believe that the environmental awareness work and the social media management that I do will really take off, and actually is beginning to. ( frustrating how many people will "let" me volunteer for them until I can "prove" myself.  grrr)

I  know how far I have come, even in the last 7 years.  Yet there is so much to do.  I do want to be beautiful again, live an artists life, teach yoga and sail on a beautiful ship bound for somewhere.  I wonder if struggle is all there is or if I will get to see Paris. Or fall in love.  ( you know I don't think anyone has ever fallen in love with me....I think I have had a lot of "likes" but never love.....would like that on the Bucket List too......someone to mean I Love You in a romantic, beautiful way.)

Well, first things first.  Packing, and telling the kids we will be alright. And praying, a lot of praying.  Then the hard work, making everything look easy to those around me. Did I mention praying?